Keep The Onion Honest sign now

We, the undersigned, demand that the online "newspaper," The Onion, cease and desist its policy of reporting utter falsehoods and passing them off as the truth.

With The Onion, you can see just how far the liberal media (or, "librul meedya") will go to libel and smear patriotic Americans, christians, the political right, economic conservatives, women who work at "Fashion Bug" and many breeds of fluffy cats.

Instead of observing the truth and reporting it, the so-called "journalists" of The Onion merely sit in their offices in a large ivory tower defended by lasers and make up facts, people and stories at will. They have no respect for the truth or readers who appreciate the truth. Also, they are part of some sort of conspiracy that runs so deep that they have managed to prevent people from using the name of the conspiracy anymore.

Please, join our cause to force The Onion to begin reporting the facts and STOP deceiving the people of the world. Millions have been fooled already. Don't let anyone else join the ranks of the fooled! Force The Onion to face the truth!

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Karina BartlettBy:
ReligionIn:
Petition target:
The Learned Elders of Onion

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