Orgasm Warning Labels for the Will Balance Board sign now

The danger presented by the Wii Balance Board to female gamers, as evidenced by the case of a 24-year-old woman from the UK who was turned into a raging nymphomaniac after she slipped and fell off the device, simply cannot be overstated. As the victim herself noted, there is no cure for her condition, and she struggles through each day sustained only by the hope that, "One day, I'll find a superstud who can satisfy me."

As concerned gamers, we hereby demand that Nintendo affix warning labels to all Wii Balance Boards, including those already in the field, informing women of the perils they may face should they suffer an unfortunate and ill-timed tumble. Something along the lines of, "Intense orgasm may result from the misuse of this device" will do. The labels should be large, brightly coloured and feature some sort of logo based on a stylized image of heaving bosoms.

Furthermore, we also request that Nintendo undertake a high-visibility marketing campaign in support of this initiative, using the slogan "You Don't Have to Fall Off to Get Off," or some variation thereof, which should appear on websites, in magazines and on television. We have a right to be informed!

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Goal
150 / 1000

Latest Signatures

  • 11 December 2015150. William D
    I support this petition
  • 26 November 2015149. Steven F
    i told you this thing was bad for you
  • 02 October 2015148. Kenton S
    So that's what happened to my ex-girlfriend! It all makes sense now!
  • 23 July 2015147. Daniel F
    I support this petition
  • 10 July 2015146. Scott S
    Badly Needed Warning!
  • 09 July 2015145. Alpo P
    I support this petition
  • 26 June 2015144. Rj K
    This issue must be adressed
  • 14 June 2015143. Danielle W
    I support this petition
  • 25 February 2015142. Madges V
    You might've told me this sooner. I've been vadgaculating all week. www.madgesvadge.com/blog
  • 24 February 2015141. Steven B
    Definatly
  • 03 February 2015140. April Vang
    I support this petition
  • 24 November 2014139. Ieuan P
    Shocking! A Travesty! *falls into Daily Mail coma*
  • 25 October 2014138. Ed Meza
    Nintendo should be careful about orgasms.
  • 13 October 2014137. Zeke Cervantes
    I support this petition
  • 06 September 2014136. Dan Gibson
    I support this petition
  • 18 July 2014135. The D
    I wholeheartedly agree. Constant orgasms are serious business.
  • 12 July 2014134. Dirk H
    Obviously, this is just another plot in the ongoing campaign by the videogame industry to corrupt our youth. First they turned everyone into violent murderers, and now they're turning everyone into crazed sex-addicts. I hear Nintendo's next console will c
  • 23 June 2014133. Stian H
    DO IT NINTENDO!
  • 08 May 2014132. Stuart M
    I approve of this product and/or service.
  • 13 March 2014131. John S
    I for one find it disgraceful that Nintendo would continue to market the balance board without warning its users of the possible risk associated
  • 08 February 2014130. Daniel K
    This is a very serious matter
  • 19 December 2013129. Jay Harding
    I support this petition
  • 23 November 2013128. Bwengun Rice
    I support this petition
  • 23 July 2013127. Tim D
    I think it is outragious that the public aren't aware of the risks whilst using this perpiheral for the wii, which is supposedly a"Family" console!
  • 30 June 2013126. Ricardo G
    hellz ya
  • 15 May 2013125. Harrison L
    I support this petition
  • 29 March 2013124. Alan V
    I support this petition

browse all the signatures

Information

Ollie RossBy:
Business and CompaniesIn:
Petition target:
Nintendo

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