Patrick Hedges as Groomsman? I think not. sign now

To all concerned:









Dear Brothers -









This is a petition to remove one Patrick Hedges from consideration for appointment to groomsman. At this time our friend Arun Sundaram is considering appointing Mr. Hedges to replace Gregory Sherwood Ishmael, who will possibly be absent while selflessly helping those who cannot help themselves in this world, to groomsman of the upcoming celebration of the joining of livestock of Mr. Sundaram and Miss Nalam. Although, Mr. Hedges does originate from Issaquah High School an appointment of a guy from math class just because he can afford to fly to some upper-class engagement party is horseshit and if Mr. Sundaram wasnt a politically elitist Brahman I would not believe it.









As such, I urge all of the original friends of Arun Sundaram who cannot afford to kiss his royal ass please sign the following petition in protest of the events, which bring into question the friendship we all had with Arun Sundaram in the 1990s.









Thank you for your time.