The Next James Bond sign now

We, the undersigned, petition Sony Pictures to hire FEMA Director Michael D. Brown to play the role of James Bond in your remake of Casino Royale.

Mike Brown's acting skills are without peer. For the last five years, he has played the parts of FEMA Director, FEMA Deputy Director, and FEMA General Counsel with such perfection that no one suspected that his only emergency management experience involved the timely application of a condom, a popsicle stick, and a double dose of Viagra.

Additionally, we request that you select the harlot, Jeff Gannon, to play the role of his assistant, Sir Oral Pleasures, OBE.

Finally, we urge you to employ Karl Rove to work closely your publicity team. He will ensure that the identity of the actor playing Secret Agent 007 is leaked to the American media in a manner that will guarantee the greatest amount of play.

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Goal reached !
100 / 100

Latest Signatures

  • 01 January 2016100. Brad T
    Whow! What a hunk of neo-Bond! Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender 4,442 * 666 Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA I shoved a dead possum out 'o the road once. Are you French? No
  • 20 November 201599. Ariadne George
    В Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender I am a delicate feminine (French) flower Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA I have a brain and did not vote for Bush Are you French? No
  • 11 November 201598. Alex M
    I'm not gay, but Brownie makes my spincter tingle. He also is an 11 on the manly scale of absolute gender. Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender 6.5 Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA Caught ucky spider trapped in be
  • 08 November 201597. Christopher H
    I support this petition
  • 29 October 201596. R W
    Condi Rice as Money Penny and Rummy as Q, Cheney can play the Role or Dr. Evil.. oh wait wrong Picture... Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender 8.8 Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA I was responsible for keeping 700
  • 20 September 201595. Raymond S
    В Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender -10 Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA В Are you French? No
  • 13 September 201594. Disgusted Instl
    В Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender 8" Cut Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA I supllied Bush/Cheney '04 with all their hookers'n'hooch. Are you French? No
  • 24 August 201593. Ann M
    В Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender 5 Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA Anti-Bush rants and bumperstickers Are you French? No
  • 26 July 201592. Peter R
    В Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender 69 Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA I've heard of FEMA(LES) Are you French? No
  • 18 July 201591. Jeff L
    I support this petition
  • 16 July 201590. Scotty M
    Brilliant! My gaggles will be so much easier with Brownie and Rove gone! Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender The President said I'm a 10 Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA Experience? What's that? Are you French? N
  • 30 May 201589. Zachriel Sanders
    I support this petition
  • 27 May 201588. Alexander S
    В Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender can it go to 11? Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA В Are you French? No
  • 17 May 201587. Archie G
    He'll no longer be of danger to us. Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender 10 Are you French? No
  • 12 May 201586. Im O
    I think they should film it over there so we don't have to film it over here. Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender If you have to ask, you aren't man enough to know Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA i can spell d-i
  • 24 March 201585. Robert M
    Change his 007 license to (point) .007 Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender the manliest Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA golden shower donor Are you French? No
  • 23 March 201584. Corporal W
    Perhaps G W Bush could play the monkey side-kick who frees Brown/Bond Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender 9 1/2 Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA nil Are you French? No
  • 18 March 201583. Doug R
    If he's working for you, he can do a LOT less damage! Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender 11 Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA Cut off a guy with a W sticker. Are you French? No
  • 03 March 201582. Richard D
    Hire Rummy as Q. Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender It's a matter of conjecture-I say 10-others......? Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA Intelligence service, USN-I was the chief scout for the best bars, food and
  • 16 February 201581. Nancy Ind
    I support this petition
  • 14 February 201580. Dick C
    He's good in bed! Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender 15 Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA VP USA Are you French? No
  • 11 February 201579. Kenneth H
    I support this petition
  • 22 January 201578. Matt W
    He's so convincing, even Bush believes he did a "great job"! Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender 9.99998 Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA Bush-Cheney '04 Ohio, deputy regional sex slave Are you French? No
  • 14 January 201577. Nancy Horn
    yo Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender 25 and I'm female Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA I once lied about my weight on my drivers license application. Are you French? No
  • 10 January 201576. Robert Eb
    Here's your man! Flawless! Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender 10+ Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA Giving Middle Finger To W Signs Are you French? No
  • 08 January 201575. Just Passingt
    В Your Rating on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender 10 1/2 Your Bush campaign experience qualifying you to work for FEMA I once stopped myself, err, a dirty frenchmen, from kicking down a W'04 sign on my neighbors lawn. Are you French? No
  • 14 December 201474. Chest R
    I support this petition

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Information

Stephen MunozBy:
LGTBIn:
Petition target:
Sony Pictures

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